Diary of a Broadway Dream: Chapter 11
I’ve been living and hustling in New York City for just over 3 months now... It’s finally starting to feel like home. This city has challenged me every single day, as it has equally inspired me every single day. It’s a complex mix of adrenaline, excitement, surprises, obstacles, disappointments and lessons. The city has everything on offer, really! Absolutely anything your heart desires is available in this city and yours for the taking... but, only if you have enough courage and determination to wake up, show up and put in the work. To pound that pavement day after day and prove to the city, you’re not giving up without a fight, not until you find exactly what it is that you came here to claim for your own.
I know what I came for, and I won’t stop working until I have it... But, what has honestly surprised me in the past few months of audition after audition, class after class, coaching after coaching, is all of the new things I’m learning... Things about my industry in general, but mostly about myself as an artist I didn’t even know there was to learn. I decided a while into my new journey here to keep my heart and my mind open to new experiences and ways of working that might be different from those I’ve spent a career refining. I’ve tried so many new things already, and as scary as it is to start them, I find very quickly how hungry I am to learn more. I’m suddenly so determined to do better, work harder, dream bigger. I realized today how overwhelmed and excited I am by the enormous about of possibility at my fingertips, and the journey I have found myself on to find out how to grasp it, keep hold of it, work with it and share it.
A dear friend and teacher of mine said to me about a month back, when I was having doubts about my place and possibly of success in this massive pond of insane talent I’ve jumped into... “By the time you reach the top here, you’ll be better at it than you ever dreamed you could be”
Well.... here’s to reaching for the “top”, striving to “do better”, and to learning “new things”
Diary of a Broadway Dream: Chapter 10
My first time on a BROADWAY STAGE
Feeling extremely grateful to my dear friend and favorite choreographer @jkinneydance for asking me to be a part of his Opening Number for this years “Easter Bonnet Competition”
I am completely humbled and incredibly inspired to be dancing alongside some of broadway’s most spectacular dancers
Diary of a Broadway Dream: Chapter 9
On this very day, 2 years ago, I opened a show that changed my life… I would like to tell the story of my audition, perhaps you’ve heard it before...
So, A Chorus Line was coming to Austria, and the wonderful Miss Baayork Lee was directing. What an opportunity! Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the first auditions... I was in France with a very dear friend, and I was taking so time out to heal a broken heart... he assured me, if the job was meant for me, it would be. This was hard to believe, but I accepted that my time to heal was more important, and I let the audition go. Alas, they couldn’t find a Cassie, and I was presented another opportunity to go and audition for this masterpiece of a show.
I was given the morning off to fly from my rehearsals for another show in germany to vienna, and had exactly 8 hours to fly there, audition, and get back to germany for my evening rehearsal... 6am flight, my plane was super delayed, I did my make up and changed into my leotard and fishnets on the plane, I was totally late. As I entered the room, all eyes on me, i dumped my bag and desperately tried to pick up the choreography every had already been leaning for at least 45 minutes. Miraculously made it through the cut.
Baayork, on learning I had to leave soon, made the other dancers take a break before the second dance round, and took some time to audition the Cassie song, dance and scenes. I was totally nervous, and it was so rushed, but we got through it. I didn’t have time to stay and dance with the others again, nor did I have time to come back for another call back day, but somehow... Maybe it was the nature of my rushed audition, maybe it was because I was so embarrassed at being late, I tried extra hard? Well, whatever happened that day, I must have done well enough in the short time I was there, and I was gifted the role. The rest is history
This show, and everything Baayork taught me learning it changed my life. It taught me things about myself as an actress, as a dancer, and a musical theatre performer in general that I never imagined learning. Most importantly it inspired me to keep chasing after my dreams... It brought me to Hollywood, and granted me the opportunity to obtain my green card and get closer to my dreams than I ever imagined I possibly could.
I guess my friend was right, if a job is meant for you, it will fall into place and it will be yours. Work hard, stay committed to your dreams, stay hungry to learn as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to let some things go, or to fall flat on your face. You are exactly where you need to be, just keep leading with your heart.
One day you will look back, and maybe, just maybe, it will all make sense.
Tonight, I also play Cassie... and I am very, very grateful for this beautiful role.
Diary of a Broadway Dream: Chapter 8
Diary of a Broadway Dream:
„What does he want from me, What should I try to be” - a chorus line
It has been extremely surreal the past few weeks, playing my favorite show, whilst navigating my first audition season in New York... a show which highlights and calls upon that skill set required, and those raw emotions that manifest whilst auditioning for a job in our business.
Auditioning... It’s not easy, and it never has been... after 20 years in the business, starting over again in New York City, and going through auditions on a daily basis with some of the businesses most talented people, is... well, exciting and challenging.
I think it requires confidence, strength of character and extreme courage of heart...
These audition days, start from deliberation on how to do your hair, how much make up to wear, what outfit, how do you present yourself, present your body, which side of your personality do you show? What shoes do you take, what is the floor surface going to be like, sticky or slippery. Do they want you to be confident and charming when you walk in the room, or humble and composed. Do you make bold choices in your scenes, or stick to something more neutral. What song should you choose, will they want a sweeter and more perfected sound, or something more powerful and wild.
I have been auditioning almost every day here, for just under 2 months now, and have tried everything. I have tried to show all sides of me, in the process finding things I had no idea I could do, and finding things I really don’t do as well as I thought I did. It is a constant lesson and discovery of oneself... a wonderful, complex, and sometimes extremely painful journey.
It’s sometimes, extremely hard to make that choice, what side to show, what shoes to wear, how much heart to leave in the room, for fear of it being broken, yet again... I have had some amazing and inspiring experiences, and have also fallen flat on my face a number of times now... I have been rewarded some victories, and have also been denied a few jobs that I really would have loved to do.
It’s hard, rejection.. on a daily basis. Especially when you are in it with all of your heart and soul, or especially if you let yourself believe, even for the smallest moment, that this one could be a possibility. It’s even harder to wake up the next morning, put your make up on, grab your heels, tights, and songbook and start all over again... but, that’s what you have to do, keep on going. Keep on believing that the right job for you is out there somewhere.
I have the utmost respect for every single person in this industry, living this every day.. especially in New York City, where these feelings seem to be magnified and intensified.
I guess, the most important thing I have learned in these past few months is... “Just be Yourself”. Be the best version of yourself on that day that you possibly can be. Don’t try and be what you think they want you to be... as we can never possibly know what they truly want.
They want brilliant, that’s for certain... and, we can only be truly brilliant and sparkle, when we are truly, deeply and honestly committed to our own special uniqueness.
Don’t give up, keep working, and above all keep dreaming!! Love what you chose for your journey with all of your heart, and know how unique you are... The rest will fall into place exactly as it should.
This is your 30 minute call...
This is your 30 minute call...
I want to say, the biggest “Thank you” to everyone who continues to support me on this insane journey...
How blessed am I, that my first Opening here in this wonderful city, is my very favorite girl #cassie
Feeling grateful... Honestly, ever so grateful!
#love #somuchlove in my #heart